


Coming Down: Missing scenes

by JackNSallyGal



Series: Coming Down [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Breakups, Friendship, Multi, Queer Youth, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:16:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackNSallyGal/pseuds/JackNSallyGal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scenes that didn't make it into Coming Down, the now complete non-magic, modern AU. </p><p>Each chapter will have its own rating and tags will be updated as scenes are added.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW beginning

"This is the last time."

"Okay."

Mary's _okay_ isn't even remotely convincing, but Lily lets it slide. She can't put up much of an argument, insist that  _This has to be the end because you're leaving in a few weeks and I have to be here_ , when Mary's trailing a bar of soap along Lily's thigh, stopping every so often to trace a lazy pattern that makes Lily's breath clog in her throat.

She'll argue the point later because as soon as Mary abandons the soap, moving closer to grip Lily's ass with both hands so she can tilt her hips forward, making it so easy to use her tongue in _exactly_ the right way, Lily's gone. Her eyes slam shut as her hips jerk, and even though the water is steadily getting colder, it's still too hot for her to do anything other than tilt her head back and claw uselessly at the wall to keep from falling.

They stay in the shower until there's no hot water left. They're both boneless, flushed and unsteady. When they get out, helping the other secure a towel around their shoulders, Lily's legs are still a little weak. Feeling like she ran a long distance marathon, she takes a seat on the edge of the tub, watching Mary idly dry off.

"Are we having the conversation now?"

Lily hates that it's become a cliche, but she nods. She removes the towel from around her shoulders so she can pull it over her head and scrub the excess water from her hair. She can feel Mary's eyes on her as she pulls the towel back around her shoulders, tucking it underneath her armpits so at least she's not totally naked while they have this conversation.

Again.

"I mean it this time," Lily says. "I'm not coming by your place, and I'm not going to invite you back here."

"Why do you suddenly get to make all the decisions?"

"I'm just saying...we can't do _this_ anymore. I can't do it," Lily says, and when she tries to catch her eye, Mary looks away. She crosses her arms over her chest, looking furious and hurt, like she might not ever make eye contact with Lily again if she can help it.

"So, you were perfectly fine fucking two nights ago, and then tonight, but New York isn't even on the table?"

"I told you why I can't go-"

"-and it's complete bullshit! Lily, you hate him," her voice softens and Lily isn't sure, but she thinks that hurts even more.

"How many times have you said-"

"-I know what I've said! But I have to do this. I have to stick around, and even if my dad wasn't going to drop dead, I _like_ my life here."

Lily doesn't miss Mary's hurt, the way she pulls the towel more tightly around her body, like a shield from what's crumbling between them.

"It's too fast," Lily continues.

"The job offer came out of nowhere, Mare. I'm _so_ happy for you," Lily's crying, and she doesn't do anything to hide it because out of everything, she'll never be ashamed by how much she feels for Mary, and anyone else who wanders into her life and decides to stay for awhile.

"You're going to do amazing things there, and I'm just...not ready. I don't feel like I can go without falling apart."

Mary's crying a little, too when she comes to sit next to Lily on the edge of the tub. Her hair's starting to curl as it air dries and her eyes are progressively getting redder. Lily's always a little startled by how beautiful she is, and it's no different this time.

"I'm going to miss you," Mary says quietly, resting her head on Lily's shoulder with a heavy sigh.

Lily brings an arm up to hold her, trying to enjoy the quiet and the feel of her, without remembering that it's going to be the last time. She smooths a hand over her drying hair and plants a kiss on the crown of her head because there's nothing else she can say.


	2. Trick or treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenage Lily, Alice, and Remus agree to take trick or treaters from Weasley Babes in Toyland daycare out on Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated K+ for some swearing. Also fear of clowns is mentioned

"I'm not doing this."

Lily nudged Remus sharply in the ribs. Alice laughed a little under her breath and Remus nudged her, forcing her to retaliate and shove him back, so the cat ears she wore flopped over crookedly on her head.

Lily, whose arms were elevated at her sides a little thanks to the girth of her pumpkin costume, shuffled forward and rang the doorbell, noting Remus' gusty sigh.

"Lily," he drew out the y in her name, whining a little. "There are at least three parties happening-"

"Too bad. We made these plans weeks ago."

Remus cursed under his breath, but it was halfhearted and garbled around the too-large fangs in his mouth. His cape kept twisting around his back so he shoved it away irritably.

"And when Lily asked you about it, you said yes because you needed the money. No backing out now..." Alice trailed off as the door was thrown open and a beaming, red haired woman opened her arms in welcome.

"Happy Halloween, you three! Look at you, and those costumes."

Molly Weasley continued a steady stream of pleasant chatter as she invited them in to the organized chaos of Weasley Babes in Toyland, the neighborhood daycare that was always filled to capacity with sticky hands and toddling children.

Remus paled a little when the door closed behind them and they were instantly surrounded by shrieking laughter with children darting around the adults in their costumes.

The house was always overflowing with children, most of them under the age of ten. Halloween was no exception, except now they were in costume and hopped up on candy from school and excitement.

It was all a little overwhelming. 

"Money," Lily said under her breath. "Remember the money."

Remus bobbed his head and folded his arms across his chest, looking uncomfortable.

"You're not going to faint, are you?"

"Shut up, Alice."

Molly left them alone for a moment after offering them cider and donuts, or something more substantial if they hadn't had dinner yet. She had hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for the children they they were more than welcome to help themselves, have a bite of something before they went out, she said with the kind of motherly insistence that came naturally to her.

"Here they are! Remus, you'll be taking Kevin out. Alice, this is little Victoria."

Two school-aged children were presented to each teen. Alice smiled at the girl, dressed as a witch, who smiled back and then looked at her feet. Undeterred, Alice crouched a little and began chatting easily with the girl, who seemed pleased by whatever she was saying.

Remus waved a little at Kevin, who was more interested in smudging his green Frankenstein face makeup than interacting with the teen.

"Lily, this is Robbie."

Molly lowered her voice, coming to stand closer to Lily and placing an arm around her shoulder.

"He's a bit afraid of clowns, the poor thing. Try to be on the lookout."

"Constant vigilance," Lily vowed, earning a gentle, affectionate shake from Weasley matriarch.

"Excellent. Robbie, you'll have a wonderful time with Lily," Molly said to the boy.

He was dressed as the blue Power Ranger, and regarded Lily warily with solemn brown eyes. For her part, Lily waved, offering a smile that she hoped would put him at ease. 

"I like your costume," she said by way of greeting.

The boy nodded, ducking his head as he muttered a shy response.

"Alright, you lot. It's time to be off. Remember to have them back before parent pick up at eight. If they get tired or tuckered out before then you can bring them back. We'll have games and candy sorting..."

Molly stood in the doorway, waving and calling out encouragements to the kids until the teens and their charges were out of sight. They stood at the corner for a few moments, trying to figure out what the best route would be, while other costumed kids and parents rushed by, laughing and yelling into the cool night.

"The houses on Knox all have porch lights on. Looks like a sure thing," Alice said strategically.

"True," Lily nodded. "But they give out full-size candy bars on South Stewart, remember?"

"South Stewart it is," Remus agreed, smiling a little at Kevin, whose eyes had widened with the promise of full sized candy bars.

The six of them started out on their path, stopping at houses along the way. The children ran eagerly to the door with other children, hollering "trick or treat!" at the top of their lungs. Lily noticed Robbie hanging back a little and kept an eye on him as they moved closer to their goal.

When they finally reached Stewart, Victoria, Kevin and Robbie's pillowcases were already sagging with candy. They could have easily called it a night, but there was no leaving with the potential for such a great haul.

"I would kill for a cigarette," Lily admitted when the kids were out of earshot.

"I have a pack in my back pocket but I'm not going to risk the wrath of Molly Weasley."

"Fair enough."

"You know," Remus said mildly, mostly over his earlier regret about their plans but taking the opportunity to needle Lily about it nonetheless, "If we were doing _anything_ other than this, you could have that cigarette. Many cigarettes, even."

Lily laughed, ready to shoot back something sharp when a loud cry filled the night, effectively cutting off whatever she would have said. The trio stilled, three sets of eyes scanning the area to make sure it wasn't their kid.

When Lily spotted the clown handing out candy, with a frantic looking Robbie trying to make an escape, she started for the house at a run.

"Hey!"

The guy was holding on to Robbie's arm, looking surprised by the shouting, but not letting go as the boy winced and tried pulling away.

"Let go of the kid!" 

The man looked at her, then back at Robbie, frowning and full of bluster.

"What's the matter with him, making all that racket?"

Lily ignored the man altogether and swooped down to lift Robbie into her arms. She cradled the back of his head with one hand, smoothing the dark, sweat dampened hair and hiking him up a little so she could adjust her hold.

He was just a little too tall, probably too old to be held that way, too heavy, but she tightened her grip. He was shaking and even though the hold was a little awkward with her enormous costume, she made it work.

"What the hell is the matter with you, trying to hold him here like that?" Lily shot back.

"He'll get over it if he just-"

"Whatever."

Before the man could move it out of reach, Lily snagged a full size candy bar from the box in his hand and quickly hustled her and Robbie away from the man's ire.

"Hey! No candy if the kid doesn't answer a joke! That's the gimmick here!"

Lily held up a middle finger behind Robbie's back and continued over to where Alice and Remus were standing, each hanging on to their kids' hands.

"I have an idea," Lily grunted as she set Robbie back on his feet.

His eyes were still wet, but he looked a little calmer now that he was away from the house. Lily came down to his level, like she'd seen Alice do, and squeezed his arm in solidarity.

"We're going to stop off for ice cream on the way back."

"Ice cream!"

"Let's go!"

The other two kids tugged impatiently at Alice and Remus' hands. Lily wasn't in a hurry. She waved for them to go on so she could talk to Robbie privately.

"Say the word and we go back to Molly's. We can go over your loot, grab a caramel apple?"

Robbie wiped the sleeve of his blue sweater over his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't want to be done yet."

"Okay. You let me know if you do want to be done, okay? The others can go and we can do our own thing. Alright?"

"Alright."

He was smiling a little as he slipped his hand into Lily's.

They continued making their way through the neighborhood. Remus and Alice remained on the sidewalk, but Lily went to the door with Robbie, hanging back a little, but still acting as his wing man, should another clueless clown appear.

When they finished with some time to spare, the six of them ducked into a corner store where the teens sprang for ice cream for each of the kids. They ate it on the way back to Molly's and were careful to ditch the evidence and get rid of the telling smears of chocolate around the kids mouths to keep their parents from rightfully pinning the sugar rush on the teens.

"It looks like everyone had a good time, doesn't it? Kids, take your candy into the other room where Ms. Minerva will help you pick out a few things to eat."

Victoria and Kevin said quick goodbyes to Alice and Remus before darting away, dragging their pillowcases behind them. Robbie lingered, looking up at Lily and then at Molly before reluctantly wandering away.

"You three are welcome to stick around. There's plenty of food, and Albus is telling stories..." Molly chatted away as she ducked into the kitchen to grab three envelopes with their payment. "I do appreciate all your help. I couldn't have gotten all the kids out without all of you. There's a little extra something in there for each of you. You're good kids."

They each tucked their envelopes away with a thank you and before Remus could haul them closer to the door, Lily heard herself say, "I think I'd like to stay. Just for a little while."

Molly immediately waved them in. Moving quickly, she pressed a cup of cider into each of their hands and then went to mound three plates with food as her husband, Arthur, who was dressed as a mummy, ushered them into the room where the kids were sorting through their bags.

"Mr. Williams," Minerva McGonagall, the fifth grade math and science teacher who occasionally offered to lend a hand to Molly, and still could make Remus, Lily, and Alice sweat a little, was saying, cutting through the excited chatter, "if you eat another treat, you're risking a stomach ache!"

Lily, flanked by Alice and Remus, scanned the room until she found Robbie, who was seated a small table, a little apart from the other as he went through the contents of his bag.

"Hey," Lily waved a little so she wouldn't startle him.

Robbie looked up and smiled, waving them over. Lily took a seat at the table with him, settling into one of the tiny chairs so her knees were practically touching her chin.

"You were a good partner in crime tonight," Lily commented as she adjusted the orange monstrosity that was her costume.

"Thanks."

Robbie held out a candy to her and Lily accepted, munching the treat in silence as he continued sorting.

"So, do I get half the haul?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I helped get it, right?"

"No way!"

Lily made a grab for the bag and Robbie laughed when he easily pulled it out of reach and clutched it against his chest.

"Not even a little?"

The boy chewed the inside of his cheek before coming to a decision. "You can have _some_."

Lily smiled. Robbie flashed her a smile in return, scooting his chair close to hers so they could sort together.

"Some is good, thank you."


	3. Being a person is hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated T. Discussion of hypersexuality, vague mention of trauma, and just sex repulsed feels in general.

“Would you prefer I pretend nothing’s bothering you, or can I ask what’s on your mind?”

The first clue, Sirius realizes, that something’s the matter with him is definitely when he shows up at James and Lily’s, interrupting Lily as she suffers through folding a mountain of laundry, and offers to help.

Like that’s a normal thing he. Does. Apparently.

Sirius is many things, but a fan of domestic work, he is not. Even for Lily, whom he loves more than words can express. He’s the sort to throw the laundry in the general direction of a closet and run, pretending it no longer exists.

So, he knows the fact that he didn’t turn tail and run and instead actually sat on the couch, folding with far too much determination while Lily hummed along tunelessly to whatever was on the radio, gave him away as much as the general weirdness surrounding him did.

For her part, Lily welcomes him in without comment. She tries small talk for a few minutes and gives up when Sirius, twitchy and distracted as he is, can’t follow the conversation. She lapses into silence, folding the wash with steady hands, until it’s all too much and she, politely, asks him to cut the shit because his weirdness is rubbing off and making her unnecessarily anxious.

“I have something I need to tell Remus, and I’m afraid he’ll dump me,” Sirius blurts, posture crumpling dramatically as soon as the words are out.

Lily doesn’t falter in her work. She reaches into the basket and withdraws a pair of socks she easily rolls into a ball, saying nothing. He appreciates the fact that she doesn’t call him silly, or point out the fact that after many ups and downs, Sirius and Remus are fairly ride or die at this point.

They’ve imploded and walked away from each other, whether in a friendly or romantic capacity, enough times to know that, generally, they’ll find their way back to one another. Like a gentle, magnetic pull from the universe exists just to tell them to stop being ridiculous and work on themselves since they clearly belong in one another’s lives.

 Still, it’s nice that Lily doesn’t point it out. Make him feel even weirder than he does, or like his fears are unfounded. She merely continues folding and waits him out.

“I’m off sex,” Sirius blurts, because, apparently, it’s the only way he can discuss this, in his head, or out loud with one of his closest friends.

In short, agonizing bursts.

“Okay,” Lily says, like he’s just commented on the weather.

And the floodgates open.

“I was just…having so much of it before, you know? Manic sex is,” Sirius falters, gesturing a little, and Lily merely smiles. “Well, you know. You know how it is. And how easy it is to get into…situations that seem…great at the time.”

“But are actually pretty fucked?” Lily supplies.

“Yes,” Sirius breathes. “I’m remembering things, and dealing with them. And I feel differently about a lot if it now and I need, like…a sex time out.”

“And you’re afraid Remus won’t get it? Or..?”

“Or he’ll think I’m hopelessly weird? Weirder than he already knows I am? I mean, wasn’t too long ago he used to have to have to wander the city looking for me, hoping I wasn’t dead or high out of my mind. You all did.”

“It sounds like you still think we’re keeping score,” she points out.

The laundry is forgotten and Sirius almost wishes she’d pick it up again, at least pretend to be folding it so he doesn’t have to deal with Lily looking at him so knowingly. But she’s always been pretty adept at seeing through him, especially when she learned what to look for. It is a gift and a curse of their friendship. The kind of thing that makes his chest ache and his heart stutter a rhythm that sounds something like _Family_ , even as it terrifies him.

Lily has that effect on people.

“I know your feelings on my many screw ups and while I appreciate it,” he rushes to tack on, when she opens her mouth. “I hurt a lot of people. People that I love, and that’s not something I can just file away as okay because you’ve forgiven me.”

Lily closes her mouth, whatever she would have said is clearly forgotten as her lips quirk into a bittersweet smile.

“Alright. But on the Remus front? The only way you know is if you tell him. Which you probably don’t want to hear. And you don’t have to if you’re not ready, but I think it’s the kind of thing he’d want to know.”

Sirius nods, ducking his head a little as he admits, “We’re still good at sex. Before? Even when we were fighting, we had that to fall back on.”

Sirius, who’s still staring carefully at the coffee table, feels and then sees the mountain of folded laundry topple to the floor as Lily slides across the expanse of couch so their shoulders bump.

Taking his hand in one of hers, she offers, “I think you’re underestimating how much you bring to the table that doesn’t have to do with sex. But…I get it, okay?”

Neither of them say anything for a long time after that. Sirius is eternally grateful just to hold her hand, steeped in overturned laundry, as the radio hums nonsense from a room away.

* * *

 

Because he is a coward when it counts, Sirius initiates the conversation at three in the morning.

It’s unfair. A low down dirty tactic designed to get the conversation over with while Remus is sleepy and pliant and unlikely to follow up with questions.

Sirius thinks it’s foolproof.

After, he knows he was just being as fucking ridiculous as always, but he gives it the old college try in the moment.

“Remus?”  

Remus makes a snuffling sound in his sleep, and Sirius silently coos at how fucking adorable he is with his mouth hanging open and his hair a wreck.

Eventually he steels himself, speaking a little louder to actually wake him.

“Remus?”

“Hmm? Whatsit?”

“I need to tell you something.”

The bed groans and Sirius can hear Remus’ limbs tangling in the sheets as he forcefully rolls himself over.

“You okay?”

A pair of hands make contact in the darkness. Fingers brushing Sirius’ chin, while the other hand goes to his chest, pressing clumsily over his heart as Remus, disoriented from sleep, checks to make sure he’s physically okay.

It makes Sirius’ throat close up a little, and he almost rolls over, passes it off as a nightmare.

Almost.

“I need to tell you something,” he repeats.

He’s not expecting Remus to lean over, crowding Sirius’ space briefly as he reaches to flick on the lamp on the nightstand before retreating back to his side of the bed.

Light floods the room and Sirius hisses, covering both eyes with a pained expression. When he drops his hands, still wincing, he notices Remus sitting up, head cocked as he tries to puzzle out the reason for Sirius’ weirdness.

“You leaving me?” Remus rasps, still sounding half asleep, after several beats of silence.

“The fuck?” Sirius whispers. “No, Jesus, of course not.”

“But it can’t wait until morning?”

“Not…exactly.”

“Let’s hear it.”

This isn’t how Sirius imagined it would go, which is ridiculous, he realizes now, with Remus’ bedhead and concern, and an entire lit room between them.

“Ah, it’s not that big of a thing, actually.”

“Sirius,” Remus says, equal measures gentle and firm.

“Right, okay. We’ll, I’m off sex.”  

“Okay,” is all Remus says for a long moment.

Sirius almost smiles because it reminds him so much of Lily.

“Okay,” he says again, firmly, understanding and acceptance cutting through the haze of his exhaustion. “You want to talk about it?”

“It isn’t you. Just know that, okay? And we can talk about the rest in the morning.”

 _Please_ , Sirius silently adds, scooting over so he’s in the middle of the bed, tentatively opening his arms. Remus just nods, pausing to drop a kiss on Sirius’ cheek before leaning over to switch off the light.

They tangle together in the middle of the bed and Sirius easily matches his breathing to the feeling of the steady rise and fall of Remus’ chest. He feels better than he has in days, lighter, ready to drop off to sleep, when Remus murmurs, “Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“Love you, Sirius. Always,” Remus continues, words slurring as he grows closer to sleep. “Really sappy and everything.”

 _Thank you_ , Sirius thinks fondly.

“I love you, too. Always, nerd,” he says instead, falling asleep with a smile.

 


End file.
